beauty is a way of seeing.

I recently had a friend tell me that there is a boudoir studio posting blogs in which they encouraged women who booked shoots to diet, get facials, and to not have pink hair. Upon hearing this I almost choked, after throwing up a little in my mouth.
Ok that’s an exaggeration.

But it did piss me off.

seriously, who tells women this trash?
To that I have to quote Tina Fey and say “Really?!”
Oh really boudoir photographer, you are not a good enough photographer that you can’t make me look “fabulous” exactly as I am?

Oh really! You expect your clients who have kids, husbands, jobs, and lives to be able to obsess about their look for your photos for weeks before they come in?! Really?

Oh Realllllyyyy?! You don’t want your clients to remember what a fire cracker they were in their youth and how they were confident enough to wear pink hair? Because its not “classic”


I am sorry I didn’t realize beauty only came in one box: thin, starved, and with natural hair colors. Really!?

So us tattooed, brightly colored, curvy, women who dare to actually eat without apologizing were sorely mistaken when we thought boudoir was about capturing who we are and what makes us feel sexy. It’s actually about some photographer imposing their effed up beauty standards in an attempt to market products to us by making us have anxiety about the way we look.

I normally don’t complain this much and I try hard to not down on other photographers but this issue isn’t about photography, or business, or tact, it’s about something personal to my heart and that’s acceptance and celebrating diversity and I just can’t turn a blind eye to that.
The media puts so much pressure on women to be beautiful the very last thing any women needs is their photographer doing the same.

we actually wrote a blog post about 10 ways to hate being a woman last year… .
I say if you were confident enough to get boudoir photos done you should pat yourself on the friggen back just for that. You are already ahead of the curve because there are plenty of women who wish they had the confidence to even book the shoot!
It’s amazing that any of us like ourselves with the way advertisers talk to us
And on the day of your shoot eat a big bowl of your favorite meal, wear whatever you feel is “you” whether it be a band t-shirt, boy shorts, or an alpaca coat. And show up and do you. Because I promise you who you are is beautiful and you don’t need a fad diet, facial, or a rude photographer who tells you how to be beautiful.

If they are a good photographer let alone a good person they will be able to see it in everyone!




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  • Michele - Hell yes! Cannot tell you how important this message is…. took me years to embrace it :) Thank you Alicia (and Erin) for making every woman you photograph feel amazing!ReplyCancel

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